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Adventures of Ken v 2.0
14th February 1999


     Purple lightning-

     "Purple LIGHTNING?!" Ken wondered.

     So I borrowed it from Jien. Now shut up and let me finish. *ahem*

     Purple lightning streaked across the skies and thunder skaboomed, scaring the wits out of a stray alley cat nearby. Meanwhile, a half-gaijin 20-year-old is seen scrummaging under a huge bed in a huge messy room for anything resembling a black leather trenchcoat. The closest thing to it was a Rainman trenchcoat, but the Rainman was brown.

     "Wonder if I could dye this black..."

     Purple lightning flashed again as an image of a very angry elder sister who is very good with a surgical scalpel comes unbidden to Sai's mind. Oh no. Mika would flip. And since she's a doctor, she knows many evil medical things and therefore not to be messed with. Besides, she pays the tuition.

     Sai sighed and decided to forget about the trenchcoat for now and come back to it later.



     Two weeks ago one of Sai's friends had invited Sai to come along to this little doujinshi event and wondered if they could cosplay as the Weiß guys. Sai's friend had chosen to go as Omi since Omi's wardrobe was simple enough to imitate; the friend had also vowed to shave his legs in spirit of cosplay and the fact that Sai would throttle him if he dared to show up in shorts with those... hairy... *turns green*

     Sai agreed, but could not decide who to cosplay. "Hmmm..." (deep in thought pose) "I'm 178 cm tall, bad-tempered, and androgynous enough to play a bishonen. What does that tell me?"

     "AYA-SAMA~!!!"



     Back to Sai's messy room, we see Sai hurriedly grabbing a jacket and then gasping over the stupid busted rib acquired at that blasted snowboarding accident when the blasted tree popped out of nowhere. The Aya-wannabe is going to town to get an Aya-ish haircut in preparation for the cosplay... time to chop off that long hair.

     About an hour later, after a few side trips to look at earrings and leather clothing, Sai steps in a hairdressing salon and promptly sits down in a chair.

     "OI!"

     Sai gets up, mutters an apology, bows a few times and goes off to sit down in an UNOCCUPIED chair.

     "Okay..." Hairdresser Girl takes out her scissors. "What shall it be?"

     "I want it short. Real short."

     "How short? What kind of short?"

     Sai rummaged through a pocket and realized that the Aya picture tucked in it had probably fallen out somewhere. Oh damn. "Um... you know that new anime? The one with 4 guys in it called Weiß-"

     "Yuh. Sure. Why?"

     "I want my hair short like Aya. You know which one's Aya right?"

     Hairdresser Girl grins. "Sure I do! So you want your hair like that cutie? No problem - now let me get that hair of yours washed."

     *shampoo shampoo shampoo*

     *rinse rinse rinse*

     *sleepy yawn, closes eyes, dozes off*

     *snip snip snip*

     "Hey, wake up. You're done."

     *opens eyes and yawns*

     *looks at mirror and blinks*

     *blinks again*

     "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCKKKK!"

     "Are? Whazza matter with you?"

     "I said I wanted an Aya haircut!"

     "Well that's an Aya haircut!" Hairdresser Girl snorts.

     "Do you know which one's Aya in the first place?!"

     "He's that guy with the jacket and goggles, right?" Hairdresser Girl took a step back.

     "THAT'S KEN!!!!!"

     "Really?" *nervous cough*

     (The following part is removed due to excessive violent content. Suffice to say there was plenty of swearing and collar-shaking involved - it is so much fun to be taller than everyone at times.)



     Sai is now sitting mournfully by the phone, talking to the Omi-wannabe friend. "I can't go as Aya now! My hair is too short! I'll have to go as Ken."

     A rather suspicious muffled noise indicating that the person on the other end was trying to control his laughter. "Fine, go as Ken then. You need any help on the wardrobe?"

     "Where the hell am I supposed to find those blasted goggles!?"

     *muffled laughter* "I'll get those. You just wait for me to pick you up in the morning when we go tomorrow."



     The following morning. Sai is seen wearing blue jeans, a dark grey V-neck, a brown jacket and black gloves plus an ochre yellow sweater tied around the waist. The Ken-reluctant wannabe is pacing back and forth in front of the house since Mika-'neesama is sick of hearing assorted cussing every 10 seconds and had thrown Sai out of the house.

     A blue FTO pulled over and Go the Omi-cosplayer hopped out, thankfully with clean-shaven legs. "Here!" Go tosses a pair of goggles that could pass for Ken's to Sai. "Try that on."

     "Hmrgghbh." Sai reluctantly tries the goggles on and crouches to take a look in the side mirror of Go's FTO. Even though the goggles were black and not dark blue like Ken's, it was pretty good enough for a cosplay. "It's okay enough, I guess."

     "Ypu even bleached your hair to brown? Cool... but your eyes..."

     "Huh?"

     "Ken has green eyes, not light brown." *toss* "Use those contacts."

     Sai puts the contacts on after some squinting at the FTO side mirror. Go grins and the two hop into the car and zoom off to the next town.



     "Can I have your number?" Himemiya-cosplayer asks, her mobile phone ready at the "ENTER NEW NUMBER" prompt.

     "Oh bugger off. I'm sworn to celibacy." Ken v 2.0 (no prizes for guessing who that is!) snorts and follows Omi v 2.0 to the booth with the Final Fantasy VII doujinshi. The two cosplayers had attracted a lot of attention since their attires were probably the nearest match to the anime characters' even though Omi v 2.0 was taller than Ken v 2.0. Ken v 2.0 personally thought they gathered attention was because Omi v 2.0 was the only Omi-cosplayer who bothered to shave his legs. The three other Omi-cosplayers present did not bother and Ken v 2.0 refused to look below the waistline of those Omis.... ick.

     Two Aya-cosplayers were at the booth when the two reached it. "Hi," said the taller Aya, who was not as cute as the other one. *sigh*

     "Hi," Omi v 2.0 muttered and started hunting for parareru FFVII stuff. Ken v 2.0 smiled (hey, that guy was cute, okay?) and started looking for FFVII stationery.

     The shorter Aya-cosplayer (who will from now on be referred to as Cute Aya) cocked his head slightly and asked, "Where did you get the goggles?"

     Ken v 2.0 shrugged and said, pointing at Omi v 2.0, "They're his. I was supposed to go as Aya but I got a wrong haircut." Ken v 2.0 rolled his eyes. "Anyway, where did you get the trenchcoat?" All of this was done in a bored manner when actually Ken v 2.0's heart was pounding like crazy.

     "Custom-made."

     (WHOAH!)

     Omi v 2.0 choked.

     Cute Aya nodded and mumbled something as Tall Aya went off and waved. Ken v 2.0 and Omi v 2.0 waved back and went back to hunting for stuff around the booths. Occasionally Cute Aya would bump into them and grin and Ken v 2.0 would grin back like a moron since he couldn't think of something clever to say while Omi v 2.0 would just turn away to hide his laughter.

     With an armful of doujinshi and mousepads, the two Weiss v 2.0s are ready to go home. Their wallets are empty and besides, Ken v 2.0's eyes are starting to itch with those contacts and Omi v 2.0's legs are feeling cold.

     "Can I have your number?" a Vash The Stampede-cosplayer asks.

     "NO!"

     "Can I have your numbers?" a Makimachi Misao-cosplayer asks after a few steps.

     "NO!"

     "Can I have your number?" asks another coplayer.

     "N- I mean SURE!" Ken v 2.0 grins at Cute Aya while Omi v 2.0 starts sniggering. "It's -*yeah right, like I'm gonna type my phone number here for all of you to see*."

     "Thanks," Cute Aya smiles while Ken v 2.0 is trying very hard not to guffaw even more. "Maybe we can hang out sometime." Cute Aya smiles and walks to his car at the other end of the parking lot.

     Ken v 2.0 has a grin plastered to his face all the way home while Omi v 2.0 giggles helplessly every few minutes and almost crashed the car into a truck on one occasion.

     Ken v 2.0 reaches home with all the new doujinshi and ignores twin sister's pleas for some as he heads for his room. And that, my children is the end of the first-ever adventure of Ken v 2.0. E-mail me if you want another one.

     Morals of this story:



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