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Einkaufen
(guest starring Shinomori Aoshi)
2nd October 1998


     "Noooo! Anything but that!" Aya wailed.

     "Aw, come on Aya-kun," Omi pleaded. "Please?"

     "No, no way, never - in that order!" Aya snorted and shook his head.

     "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaseeeeee?" Omi whimpered (imagine the early 80's anime glass-eyed look here).

     "..."

     "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaseeeeee?" Ken joined in.

     "..."

     "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaseeeeee?" Yoji echoed.

     *grumble* "Oh, all right!"



     The Weiß Kreuz stood outside the huge buiding; all of them with huge grins on their faces with the exception of Aya, who was as usual, without an expression on his face.

     Yoji chuckled. "Let's go shopping."

     Aya groaned.



     "Ooh! Bomber jackets are on sale!" Ken gushed; a sonic boom shook the shopping mall as he broke the sound barrier dashing towards the racks of jackets in the men's section.

     Aya shook his head in disapproval.

     "Don't be such an old stick," Yoji teased him, "we are professional killers aren't we?"

     "Yeah... so?"

     "So we must be dressed to kill!" Yoji announced in his 'Nippon-Ichi' pose, complete with the appropriate sound effects. "No one would take us seriously if we were dressed like slobs! And - hey!"

     Aya and Omi had tiptoed off to another corner, trying to look as if they had never seen Yoji in their lives.

     "Jeez, Yoji," Ken shook his head, "howcum you gotta embarass us in public all the time?"

     "Embarass you in public?" Yoji exclaimed in shock. "Me!? You people are just jealous since women can't resist my charm and my good looks." He grinned as he curled his arm around a nearby narrow-waisted figure in a blue dress. "See? She doesn't mind me doing this at all."

     "Yoji-kun?"

     "Hmm?"

     "That's because she's a mannequin."



     "Please, Aya-kun," Omi begged, "just try it on!"

     "Are you sure about this?" Aya looked dubiously at the article of clothing in his hands.

     "You'd look good in it - trust me!"

     "Okay," Aya agreed reluctantly and disappeared into the fitting room. Rustling sounds were heard from the small cubicle and since this is anime, the silhoutte of Aya stripping in the fitting room could be seen on the curtain. A Chokachu materialized and handed out tissues to those with nosebleeds.

     The curtain slid aside and Aya stepped out of the cubicle, feeling extremely self-conscious in an outfit similar to Omi's; shorts, hooded parka and everything.

     Omi chuckled. "See? You look great!"

     "What's all the excitement about - HELLO!" Ken exclaimed in surprise; Yoji's sunglasses slid several inches down his nose as the two Weiß stared at Aya.

     Aya gave Omi a meaningful look, but Omi wasn't sure whether it was the 'This Is All Your Fault And I'm Gonna Kill You Look' or the 'Oh My God - Just Shoot Me And Get It Over With Look'.

     "Hey, Aya..." Ken blinked as he tilted his head to the side, "you have really nice legs. Just like that doujinshi I read-"

     Aya's cheeks turned bright red and he mumbled something as he lowered his head shyly-

     "YOU ARE NOT WRITING A KEN X AYA OMAKE!" Ken and Aya screamed as they both throttled a certain Chokachu who was perched near a laptop.

     The Chokachu immediately made some changes into the Word 97 document it was typing.

     *brrvvvpp* *bzzzt* (sounds of a tape being rewound)

     "Hey, Aya..." Ken blinked as he tilted his head to the side, "you have really nice legs. Just like that doujinshi I read-"

     Aya snorted as he pulled out his katana and smacked Ken firmly on the head.

     (Ken: I think I liked the yaoi one better... ow...)

     "This whole shopping thing is ridiculous!" Aya grumbled after he had changed back to his own clothes.

     "No, it's not," Yoji chided.

     "Oh yes it is. It's just a waste of time and money -"

     "Aya-kun, look! That new Helly Hansen store has discounts on their trenchcoats!" Omi pointed out.

     Another sonic boom shook the building.

     "A waste of time and money, eh?" Yoji drawled after the rest of the Weiß Kreuz caught up to Aya, who was involved in a tug-of-war over an urban camo trenchcoat with that other trenchcoat guy from Rurouni Kenshin.

     Aya managed an apologetic look before he went back to his tug-of-war. "Leggo you stupid ninja jerk! I saw this first!"

     "Forget it ya red-haired moron! I'm getting this!" Aoshi snarled.

     Omi cleared his throat before he tentatively suggested, "Uh, I think there's an easy way to solve this-"

     "Really?" *tug*

     "Like what?" *tug*

     "Aoshi-kun," Omi began hesitantly, "don't you think you're in the wrong timeline?"

     "Oh yeah," was all Aoshi could say before he vanished in a puff of smoke.

     A very happy Aya walked to the cash counter with an armful of trenchcoats and a shining platinum MasterCard. His transaction completed, the Weiß Kreuz walked out of the Helly Hansen store and Yoji smirked. "Well," he began, "since you guys bought your stuff, I guess we could go and buy mine."

     Aya, Ken and Omi were thinking of the same thing; 'Please, please, please - anything but asking us to tag along and help Yoji buy those damned hipster jeans - the sight of them makes me want to throw up'

     "UrbanColors are having a sale and I was thinking of getting their hipster - hey where'd everybody go??"



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